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It has been a week now and we have posted our "Seven Beliefs For Changing and Becoming a Better Person".

Now that we presented our Seven Beliefs, we would like to talk more about Changing. 

 We will be writing more about Personal Development, Growth and Change.
I want to say that change is not always easy. But change makes us better. I have found that change is not only for the people that you live with, or family members, most importantly it shapes you, and creates a better you. 

About three times a week I will be making a post, a small thought about Change, articles I find about different ways to change ourselves for the better. I hope you continue reading our webpage. We will be doing a Seminar from time to time on topics that will be helpful for us all. My dad will be writing them and I will again facilitate. We invite anyone to come and talk to us, tell us how the beliefs effected your life, and ask us anything. We are here to help you. Your comments and questions may also help others.  

By the way: Are you one of our Non-English Speaker? Below my picture, and the picture of my dad, there is a translator. I would like to warn you when using it. Google translate is not the best translator, so, if something is reading strange, please recheck the translation. If you feel like you want to respond in us in your native language, please do so, and we will try to find a translation of that... Just tell us which language you are speaking

BELIEF SEVEN: ALWAYS CHOOSE, “WHAT IS THE GOOD THING TO DO.

If you see the word ‘always’ in a true and false test you should answer false. But I am going to use it here because it is a wonderful guide for becoming a better person.  In fact it is the single most important tool for becoming the best person you can be.  Therefore, more than anything else always chooses “What Is the Good Thing to Do” when seeking to change, grow, or become a better person. It is the concluding guide I leave with you.

Choosing what is the good thing to do will work because it is in synch with the natural you. It is both a choice and an action. By asking the question your conscience is activated and given a chance to inform you. Furthermore, if you use this choice to guide your life you will not only change but change towards being a more joyful and happy person. It is compatible with being loving, forgiving, responsible, non-judgmental, and putting others ahead of yourself.

If you are a religious person the question of “What is the Good Thing to Do?” is the same as asking, “What Would God Have Me Do?”  Regardless of how you ask the question you will be able to know what is good and true just at the moment of action when you need it. What more could you ask for when seeking self-improvement, self-change, and wanting to become a better person.



THOUGHT QUESTIONS FOR PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS

                                      LESSON SEVEN

1. How strongly do I want to ask and choose, “What is the Good Thing to do?”

2. In what ways will I receive an answer when I ask this question?

3. By constantly using this question as a guide in my life what will happen to me?

4. Why is this question the same as asking, “What Would God Have Me Do?” for a religious person?

Indicate your feelings about the following statements:

5.  I should seek and welcome change.

6.  I am more than a body and brain but am also a spirit.

7.  I am a free agent that chooses what to do and be.

8.  I can directly know what is true and good by listening to my conscience.

9. I find my true identity and self by how I live with others.

10. I take personal responsibility for my happiness and what I am.

11. What is the most important thing I have learned from all seven of these readings and discussions?

BELIEF SIX: I AM RESPONSIBE FOR BEING LOVABLE, HAPPY, WORTHWHILE, AND BELONGING

 While self improvement flows from how you live with others you alone are responsible for making it happen. In previous lessons we learned to seek change , recognize your inner spirit, to be free of past determination, believe you can directly know about truth and knowledge, and find development in the way you relate with others. These are  crucial beliefs. Considering these five points all together leads to the conclusion that you have the ability, power, and responsibility to be lovable, happy, worthwhile, and belong in a positive relationship with another that will result in self growth.

To simplify what must be done let me list three steps of:
1. Choosing; which refers to deciding on a plan of action. 
2. Doing; which refers to acting on your choice in step one.
3. Becoming; which refers to accepting the change which will naturally happen to you following the first two steps.

So to illustrate how these three steps can work let me recount a saying that I used when raising my children. It certainly did not work all the time but now that my children are adults I hear them putting these same words to their children. “Happy People are Happier!” Sounds nonsensical but it implies that if you want to be happy you draw from within. You take responsibility for you own happiness and do not expect others to make you happy.

Thus the first steps to be happy are: 
   1. Choose to be happy 
   2. Start acting or behaving with happiness. 
   3. Then accept being a happy person. The same three steps can be used to become loving, worthwhile, a contributing member of a group, forgiving, accepting, and being non-critical as discussed in the last lesson.
Again, these three simple steps are: 
    1. Choosing  
    2.  Doing  and then
    3.  Becoming.


         SELF-INSIGHT QUESTIONS FOR PRACTICAL                                                      APPLICATIONS

                                    BELIEF SIX

1. How can I take responsibility for being lovable, worthwhile, happy, and belonging?”
 

2. Why do people expect others to make them happy?

3. Will a short non- coordinated Bill be happy choosing a career of being a basketball player or a Mary who has a poor memory be successful and happy pursuing a career in chemistry? What other factor must be considered in each of these two cases?

4. Could either Bill or Mary or anybody choose to be loving, forgiving, non-critical, and responsible?

5. In what areas of living does choosing, doing, and becoming work and when will it fail? Another way to ask this is where and when am I able to choose it, then practice it and find that it will naturally follow that I  have that attribute?

6. When and where in my life have I been most successful in taking personal responsibility for self change and personal growth to become a better person?


7. What is the most important thing I have learned from this lesson and discussion?

BELIEF FIVE.: DEVELOPMENT FLOWS FROM HOW I LIVE WITH OTHERS

Your unique self, identity, and specialness can be known only through your relationships with others. Some, mistakenly  think  that self-development should begin with a focus on self but the opposite is true. You really do not even exist alone. A mother is not a mother without a child, a husband is not a husband without a wife, nor an actor without an audience, a doctor without a patient. So when it comes to self development you must first consider your relationship with at least one other person. Success in changing for the better comes in living better with others. How is this accomplished?

Too often the self help advice you might receive is how to influence and change the other person masked as developing interpersonal skills. Instead the goal should be on you becoming a better person. What this entails will vary depending on who you are relating with and your present level of development. For example if there is a high and frequent level of conflict  between  a husband or wife the first thing to do might be to control your temper. If the problem is not conflict but lack of love for one another then the first thing to do might be caring and putting the welfare  of  the other person ahead of  your own. If the other person fears you or feels rejected then begin by trying to be less critical or judgmental. Notice that in all three of these cases the focus includes the other person as they encounter you. Thus the path to self improvement or healthy change becomes immediately apparent.

If you don’t know where to begin there is one sure good place to start that applies to all human interactions. It is to become more loving. Again, notice that this does not require any change or action on the part of the other person. Notice that even if they do not change at all you benefit by becoming a better person in each instance. The key, the guide, the most direct path to your self- improvement is found in you being better with another. This other could be God.




       SELF-INSIGHT QUESTIONS FOR PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS

                           LESSON FIVE

1.    Why is another so important for self- development?



2.    Where and when have I observed that, “becoming more loving” is the first step or key to living better with others?



Recall an example of when the following attributes helped a person  become more  loving?

3.    Putting the needs and welfare of another before my own.



4.    Being non-critical, non-judgmental, or accepting of another.



5.    Being forgiving.



6.    Relating without using force and power.



7.    Having empathy or sharing another’s burdens.



8.    What is the most important belief I have learned from this reading and discussion.

BELIEF FOUR: I CAN DIRECTLY KNOW WHAT IS TRUE AND GOOD

In an information age you can immediately Google all kinds of information about self-change and personal growth. The information comes from professionals, testimonials product users, science, and reasoned opinions, to mention just a few sources available. You know from years of experience that it is beneficial to consider many sources. But in today’s world scientific information is valued most. Here you can find information about how to better communicate, solve problems, conduct a self analysis, increase memory, standup for yourself, control anger, self -medicate, and etc.

But there is one extremely important tool or source of truth and knowledge that is more important than all those listed above. It is how to directly know about good and bad, right and wrong. It is a way of knowing that has been used for centuries and widely and highly regarded today. The source for this valuable ability is your conscience. It is a belief imbedded in the United States Constitution and in many other legal statutes worldwide. It is expressed with these words, “We hold these truths to be self-evident.” It is the belief that the common man can be trusted to directly know and discern what is true. 

Notice also that our whole social system requires citizens to act in good faith following their conscience. You know what a person means when they say, “My conscience would not let me do that”, or “I listened to what my conscience had to say.” It is used all the time. A nation cannot be governed by laws alone nor can an individual. We need to  rely our conscience to be a complete person.
Now what does this mean for your self-development and becoming a better person? I think you will agree that should you succeed in every possible dimension of self improvement and do follow your conscience you will be of little value to yourself or others. You have all met powerful, rich, bright, or persons with great charm who you do not respect or like because they seem to lack a conscience. All self development is for nothing if you fail in being a person who is guided by a conscience.

Fortunately, all can develop this ability. Essentially it begins by believing you have a conscience, then listening, and finally by gaining experience in following your conscience.  

 SELF-INSIGHT  QUESTIONS FOR PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS

1. Do I  value people more when  they have a strong conscience?

2. Do I frequently have a feeling that something, or someone within me is telling me to do or not to do something?

3. Just what is conscience? Is it an entity inside of a person or a source of truth that comes from outside a person or both?


4. How do I feel when I act contrary to my conscience?


5.  Are feelings of freedom and happiness tied to following my conscience?


6. What can I do to increase the voice and role of conscience in my life?





7. What is the most important thing I have learned from this lesson and discussion?
 

BELIEF THREE: I AM NOT DETERMINED BY MY PAST

Of course your past influences you. But it does not determine you. Our social logic is one of cause and effect saying that your past determines your behavior and who you are. But if your spirit existed before your past and independently influences your present behavior then it is incorrect to belief that you are determined by your past. Furthermore, logically the past cannot touch your present except in your mind/ body memories and memories can be profoundly influenced by the present. So not only is it wrong to belief that you are determined by your past but it is also results in a reduction of optimism, hope, self-control, and taking personal responsibility for present personal behavior.

The past can influence the present but so can a lot of other freeing elements. For example present perceptions can also be influenced by music, drugs, information; training, support groups, feelings of love, new teachings, and yes that free and everlasting inner spirit or soul.

Thus by knowing or having the belief that the past does not control you or by considering the big picture of causality it is just too simplistic to say our past determines who we are and what we choose to do. It is perceptions at the very moment or action that determines our behavior. This belief was strongly voiced by many behavioral scientists in the mid twentieth century but was brushed or buried under move voluminous writings focusing on determinism.

But another way of expressing this same belief is to say we are really, at the core, free spirits. Our bodies and brains may have a powerful influence on us but unless weakened, ignored, or in other ways diminished the free human spirit is more powerful than the past. This means that you are free to choose and become what you are.

So when seeking change or self growth this is good news.




   SELF-INSIGHT QUESTIONS FOR PRACTICAL             APPLICATIONS

                            LESSON THREE

1. How strongly do I feel that I am free of my past even to the extent that I can control what I do, say, and think?

2.  When I think or talk to myself is it my brain or my spirit that speaks and who listens?

3. Do I feel better or worse when I feel my past determines who and what I am?

4. Am I a more responsible and better person by believing that the past does not determine my behavior?

5. When I have present perceptions that are negative or false can I change them and their influence on my actions?




6.  Why is it better to live in the present?


7. What is the most important belief I am taking away from this lesson?
      

BELIEF TWO: I AM MORE THAN BRAIN AND BODY

We first learned that change is always taking place. So it is now natural to ask, just what is the most important thing to change for personal growth? Examples were given about how the body and brain changes or transforms every minute. But there is more to you than that. There is a more important part of you to consider now. 

If you are like most people you likely believe you have within you a spirit or soul. Is this that part of you that is aware of what you are doing right now? Is your spirit or soul the most important part of you or is it even the real you? Is it your essence that will last forever? Along with the body and the brain does it make decisions, choose, and direct your actions?

Of course, we know the body determines a lot of our actions as seen in the case of habitual reactions and addictions. The brain acquires logic and socialization norms to make choices. But most believe there is more to us than brain and body. We are aware of what we are thinking and doing. Ask yourself what or who is being aware of your thoughts right now?  Is it your spirit or soul?

So when it comes to self-change or growth  focus on this inner self, spirit, or soul. It is the part that is indestructible and will last forever.  It is the most fundamental and core part of us that ultimately chooses and directs what we do and become.

Thus when it comes to self- change this is where the focus should be. It is often noted that the most true and genuine change comes when there is a change of heart. We say a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. This expression reflects the belief that changing a person’s mind or forcing actions with bribes or threats result in only superficial transient change. Genuine change must touch the heart and soul.

Thus this second lessons hopes to help you know where to change to become a better person. Scholars, philosophers, and especially existentialists have for centuries recognized this feature of man. The human spirit with freedom to choose is the precious characteristic of humankind. The human spirit to be, and to choose is the most noted cherished, indestructible and precious part in being human. So this is where our self-change focus should start.   

SELF- INSIGHT QUESTIONS   FOR PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS

BELIEF   TWO

1.     Do I sometimes feel I have a spirit or soul in addition to a body and brain?



If answering yes to the previous question then to what extent do I feel this spirit/soul directs and guides my thoughts and actions?


3.    Are there things in my life that diminish or reduce the role of my spirit/ soul in directing and influencing by thoughts and actions?



4.    How does my spirit or soul change or grow in importance during my life?




5.    How does believing I have a spirit influence daily feelings of freedom?




6.    What can I do to harmonize or help my body, brain, and spirit to work together?




7. What is the single most important belief I am taking away from this lesson?

BELIEF ONE: SEEK WELCOME AND ACCEPT CHANGE

You are already, just by being here at this time, putting into action the first belief.  It is that change is good, even inevitable, so welcome it. It is important to understand that, like it or not, you are going to change. It is fruitless to resist and wise to accept the certainty of personal change for by so doing you can direct your self- change.

Some fear change and direct their energy in fighting the inevitable. They fail to notice that everything in this world is constantly changing. The stone on the street is weathering; the molecules in your blood are reproducing, combining, dying and transforming each minute. Your thoughts, perceptions, goals, and reactions to changing environments mean you are always in a process of becoming something new. Those who insecurely resist change to protect their ego or self concept are labeled as defensive by mental health professionals. They use the classical defense mechanisms that distort or deny truth and knowledge about who they are.

Those who seek, welcome, and accept change are considered to be open to new experience and place themselves in positions to grow and develop in healthy positive ways. But the important point for you to grasp is that by seeking change you can direct the change. You can be in charge of the changes to come in your life. Basically the inevitable certain changes will move you in either a positive or negative direction. By not resisting but accepting change you can constantly be moving in positive directions that you choose. .

It is never too late to change or grow. Even during advanced years we can become even a better person. As mentioned earlier, the fact that you are reading this indicates you have already moved towards seeking personal change, growth, and development.

So, what is the next thing to do? It is to answer the self-insight questions that will follow each short reading. Your answers or comments about each question will help you understand both the concept and yourself better. We hope you will share your responses to the self-insight questions with the others participating. Writing your response is seen as agreeing to share your responses with others. Please create another user name to remain anonymous. Make the answers short and put them in the spaces provided. There are no wrong answers, only your positive opinions and feelings are called for in order to promote positive change. When answering, give examples from your life or that of someone else. So please describe real life observations because they will be valuable to both you and those reading your responses.




SELF-INSIGHT QUESTIONS FOR PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS
BELIEF ONE

1. How much do I seek, welcome, and accept personal change?



2. Have I seen how a changed belief can improve a person’s life?



3. Do I consider myself to be more of a finished product or forever changing?      



4. What might be reasons that will cause me to resist becoming a different person?



5. How can I change for the better without losing my core beliefs and values?



6. When, where, and why might I sometimes feel defensive about changing?



7. How can I direct and move my inevitable changing towards good and positive outcomes?



8. What is the single most important thing I have learned from the reading and self-insight questions?

           

Here is the Instructions and Explaination as to how we will hold the Seminars

Because this is a "Self Help Instructional", we assume that you come on our website regularly and read our new posts. 
 We will each day have a post of the topics we will be discussing. Day One will be Belief One for this First Seminar. Day Two will be Belief Two, etc etc. 
  I will be posting the First Belief following this post and tomorrow the Second Belief, etc. I will post the Questions that Follow the Belief and We ask that you ponder the Belief and answer the questions on a separate note pad or book and on Wednesday at 9:30 am Pacific Standard Time I will be online with my dad to talk about the First Belief and your answers. We will share the answers with those that comment and are online. I will be on the Live Chatroom to Moderate and My dad will be online to answer any questions. Normally my dad will not be online all the time but he will be on the webpage everyday to comment and discuss... We would love to have this an interactive- proactive experience and the more people we get to talk the more fun it will be! Here is the First Belief.

Invitation to join

I am inviting everyone to join us in our First Free Self Instructional  of Seven in a Seminar:  Here are more details!
This is the First I will be facilitating and my dad will be writing. The Sessions will be held as followed. The very first Session will be held with my dad, so that he can answer any further questions you might have, or discuss further our webpage.
I will post the Program Topics as regular blogs , and they will be titled accordingly. We will have discussions live for those who want to in the Discussions Board, however, where we have the questions at the end of the Sessions, you can answer those in the comments and Comment wherever  you are able. The Discussions Board is used like a Forum for lack of better words.  Keep in mind we ask you to allow the discussions and what you say to be public so that everyone can learn from you, and we can answer all questions with people coming into the webpage as a tool for themselves.  We will at a later date post the classes here in Facebook but, will be more fun to have people come in the webpage and discuss with others.
We have an email for more private questions on the webpage, and if we feel like we can learn from you with the emails, we would like to post the exchanges online but we will keep you private if you say so.


I would like to add that you do not have to come online when we have the classes, You can stop at our website after and browse after what was discussed. If you feel you would like to leave a comment or question you can do that also!

These will start at 9 am Wednesday November 16th, 2011, and every day for one week at 9 am Pacific Time I will post one more class for the day!
I hope to see everyone there!