JUST WHAT IS A PERSON?

Today, almost everyone agrees that the body and mind are connected to create a person. Those who believe in religion usually also add that a person  has a spirit. Combined they are commonly referred to as the soul. Mind, body, and spirit are believed to be unitary, coordinate, or inseparable but there is no denying that we have separate words for them and they are distinct parts of a whole person.
One creative way to answer this mind, body, and spirit question is to say that a person is a not an object but a happening. This is not my original idea but a notion borrowed from the existential philosopher, Martin Heidegger (1889-1976). He proposed that the unified person is never a static object but something that is continually unfolding and changing. Usually, those who take this position add that the person cannot be separated from the environment and certainly not from others with whom the person is interacting. With this notion change and progression will always be part of understanding a person.

Just a little note

This post is written by Dena Jensen

24th December 2011

I wanted to wish Everyone a Merry Christmas and a Safe and Happy New Year! 

Choosing to Be Happy

A post By Dena Jensen


When I was a teenager, well, maybe younger, maybe 12, I would get irritable easy. I think it was a normal girl thing that girls go through around 12 years old. 
 I would get irritated about something and say, "That is not fair!" my dad, within hearing, would respond with, "If life were Fair, I'd be King." 
This was often, especially, If I were busy working away in the garden while my siblings were in my opinion, not doing anything productive, same response would come from my dad. 
  Another famous saying my dad would say to me, Happy People are Happier. 
From my life experiences,  I have had many, I learned something universal. 
 We can choose to be happy. 
There are many things that we can count on in this life. Our Human Experience in this life is hard sometimes. Many of us face trials and hardships, and honestly, there is a lot of suffering in this life. 
 I have somewhat a story of two sisters. 
These two sisters, one is older and one younger, had a really sad life. 
 Their mother, who married a kind and handsome man, left the family, (the father, these two sisters) and with out a word, the two little girls were so little they to this day have no memory of their mother holding them. 
 The father married a woman who, in my opinion was very cruel, very unkind and the two little girls were raised in an environment of sadness, and a lot of heartbreak. 
  One of the sisters ran away from home at a younger age, and ended up trying to make her own way in life, with her amazing gift as a dress maker. 
The other sister, the older one, left home at the legal age, kept in contact with her siblings of whom she loved dearly, and also tried to make her way in life. 
The older sister had a hard adult life, as did the younger sister. 
 But, something amazing and incredible about the older sister that I found and intend to write about, was how happy the older sister was and, now, to this day, is. 
  The older sister through all the hardships and heartache and sadness, was able and is still able to find love, maybe not through parents, but in other ways. She would call  it her Religion she was able to find what Christians might say, "God's Tender Mercies". 
  This older sister never hurt anyone, never used drugs, never drank alcohol, never did anything dishonest or that would take away her honor.  But, rather, rose above her trials, provided a safe and loving home to her children and her husband, and even made her life meaningful, happy and found joy in her life without the normal loving relationship that parents should provide.  
  Have you ever heard of someone saying that something happened that was so frustrating, so irritating, yet they just "could not find anything else to do but laugh"? 


   It has been told, at least so I have heard many times over that happier people live longer, are more healthy and have less  health aliments. 
Please note that there are some of the happiest people I know also have cancer. This also does not mean to say that in life we will never avoid being sad, or having hard times ahead of us. 
  I think that we can chose to be happy as we can chose many other things. We can chose to love, chose to be kind, chose to act , and we chose to react. 
 Choosing to be happy will help us over come many obstacles that life brings us. I find it interesting that when you look at other peoples lives and how they are living, if you see that they are truly happy, and good to others and kind, they have a better quality of life. 
   I have seen many very poor people be happy. I have thought about when I was little and we lived in Mexico. I recall that the people at evening would gather together and play guitars and sing, and dance in the neighborhoods. They were happy, and I remember that. I as a child, did not notice money or how big homes were, but I do remember the people in Mexico, in my neighborhood were happy. In Spanish, they call it "Simpatico". I think that being Simpatico was not just... Being happy, (which simpatico means friendly or happy), but I think it is a state of being, BEING happy, BEING friendly. 

 When we choose to be happy, we are giving a gift to others around us, but we are also giving ourselves a greater gift, the gift of being able to enjoy our experience being good people. 
 This also can turn into other things, becoming a great person, through happiness. 
 Happiness can give us strength when we are going through a hard time, because our minds can give us the power to endure through times that would otherwise be unbearable. 
Happiness can also help us forgive others and steer us from moments of anger and bitterness and replace our hearts with peace and joy. 
  Some of our readers may not believe in God, and that is OK. 
 But, happiness can help us connect with a higher being than ourselves, which in return helps us get through hardships and trials. 


There is a miracle in being able to chose to be happy, because the miracle comes from our choice as people to give of others, create a better environment for our family, bring joy and peace to those that would other wise not have it, and honestly, you will find those feelings of happiness that you find are contagious. 


Here are some ways in finding Happiness

• Start writing in a journal 
• Smile at a Stranger, once a day
• Sit at a park for 15 minutes and watch others, try to find one thing that made you smile a the park, and write it down in your journal
• In your Journal, write at least three happy memories you have in your life
• When you think of those happy memories, think of the one person responsible for those memories (family member, teacher, neighbor)
• Think of one person who is good and try to emulate that persons life, by creating your own way to making others happy
• When you buy something, always smile at the cashier and say Thank you to  that person. 
•  Try praying, and instead of asking for something, Pray to Thank the Higher Power you are praying to
• Try making a child smile
• Be kind 
• Write everything you do that makes you happy in your journal. Write your experiences that you have done in the list above in your journal
• Expect yourself to change in being happy, and if you find that there is nothing in your life that gives you meaning, or makes you happy, try something different or new that is productive and good, to find the true meaning of happiness. 
• Attend Mass on Christmas Eve, if a Church is near you.
• Visit someone who is lonely, ill, or does not get visitors
• Listen to Happy Music, watch something funny, or read the comics in the News Paper
• Meditate
• Choose to Be Happy

This is your challenge, to find happiness. 
I would hope that some of you would write in the comment what makes you truly happy. 


Season's Greetings to everyone this Christmas!

Who Should Change To Fix Your Marriage?

Even the best marriages have problems. Even the best marriage partners are not perfect. And at one time or another all of us want to improve our marriages.  Many things may need fixing; money management, faithfulness, affection, communication, loyalty, division of labor, cleanliness, religion, values, childrearing, and many more. Most often one partner unconsciously concludes that the other needs to somehow be fixed. In distress they naturally hope  something can be done to change the other person. Put in simplistic terms, they want to fix their partner.

But, fixing the partner is not the solution for many reasons. First, it is not likely to work. Usually it has been tried many times before and the partner is still the same. When relationships are in trouble or when there is conflict it is hard to force or even to kindly persuade another to change. People typically dig in their heels when they feel pushed to change.

Then even if enough pressure is exerted to produce changes in your partner there is no guarantee that the changes will stay when the pressure is removed. And who wants to live in a relationship where you have to constantly exert pressure on your partner.

The greatest problem with changing your partner is that your well being and happiness then becomes dependent on your partner changing or not changing. You lose your control as you wait for someone else to change. Again, you become  controlled by whether they change or not.

ARE YOU FREE ?

 A law-abiding physician was arrested and sent to a Concentration Camp. There he suffered tragic losses and received inhumane treatment for years. He did survive and wrote a bestselling book explaining how he was able to be free even in a totally controlled environment. He came to believe that we can  always  be free. His book is called, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” His name is Victor Frankl (1905). While all his basic rights and freedom were taken away, they could not take away his right to choose what kind of person he choose to be. Thus he remained free and this is precisely the point; you are a free agent.  
  You are free to choose how you act towards others, how you treat others, how you love your family. 
You are also free to choose how you think, and then act upon those positive thoughts. 
You may not be able to direct and change many things but you can choose how you will be and respond. For those that believe a person consists of a body, mind, and also spirit, the question of agentic freedom is clear. You can choose to be free. 
 Furthermore if the spirit is the enduring component rather than the body then should not freedom questions focus on the spirit? If so, does the body and mind influence the spirit?  It is equally important to ask, “Does the spirit influence the body and the mind?”  Correct answers to these questions tell us we  can  choose to be what we  want to be.

Holiday/ Christmas Blues and How to Avoid them

It is the time of year, again where we are shopping for the Holidays. Christmas is a beautiful season, but to many it is frustrating, filled with Malls over priced and over crowded, people running round to get things done, and it is also the High Stress time of year. 

  Here are some words of advice about how to keep the Season Jolly with out getting the Christmas Blues:

I will not sign my name to this but I can help you miss the Christmas blues. 

First: don’t expect to be so happy. Overly high expectations are to blame here. Your natural state of happiness is dwarfed by high hopes of a season to be jolly. 

Second: if you are a prudent, thrifty, and responsible you will be dismayed by frivolous spending all around you. So learn quickly this cannot be stopped and console yourself that Christmas debt is the easiest of all debts to justify. 

Third: While music is a great crutch to pull us back from depression a steady diet of sentimental Christmas Carols does just the opposite. It is important to direct your seasonal selections to uplifting carols such as jingle bells, up on the house top, and Rudolph.

Fourth: Getting the holiday spirit does not mean drinking more spirits. Substitute the gym for the bar and fill the refrigerator with fresh fruits and vegetables. 

Fifth: You will find that those around you become absorbed with notions that take their attention away from you. It is best not to ask them to put you first for it won’t work and if it does you will feel guilty. 

Six: Christmas will add loneliness to the lonely if they don’t catch the Christmas Spirit. If they do discover the spirit of the one for whom the holiday exist, then they will become less lonely long after Christmas has come and gone. 

Seven: Many of us are unhappy to begin with so here is a chance to shine by knowing you will soon be joined by all those who soon will be contracting Christmas blues. 

Eight: Don’t take days off and don’t use those holiday vacation days. If you keep busy by working overtime right you won’t even have time to get the blues.

Nine: Even though most who get the blues are adults the root cause is that they don’t believe in Santa Claus. The only known cure for this tragedy is to find a child and be a Santa Claus proving once and for all that Santa exists. 

Ten:  Notice that in so many Christmas stories thrust upon us there is a main character who has lived a selfish life. These stories will activate your conscience leading you down the path of self- deprecation. Here is what you must do. When first sensing a voice from your conscience, slip an unsigned note telling someone you are going to be their Christmas pixie. Then for 12 days do something nice. This will silence your conscience for 12 days before Christmas and with luck you will get back to work before you contract the blues.

Lastly: You might be lucky enough to learn that Christmas is not about getting more presents, partying, drinking, eating, time off, TV Christmas specials or increasing sales. If this happens and with good fortune you might be able to become a little more religious and notice; religious people don’t get the Christmas blues.

I found this Article. Please read :)

Dear Friends, I found this article on a friends wall on Facebook and I wanted to share it with you on this webpage. I feel it is directly related to the topics we discuss in our Seven Beliefs To Change. Tell me what you think? Do you have Regrets? Do you have things you would like to change before you leave this life? Do you want to leave a legacy? How do you want to be remembered when you pass on?  Feel Free to comment! 

Top Five Regrets of The Dying

December 1, 2011 By T Kelly 60 Comments

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.  
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. 
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. 
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
 http://www.activistpost.com/2011/11/top-5-regrets-of-dying.html

We are happy to announce twice a week we will be updating this webpage.

Every Sunday and Wednesday we will be posting different topics of discussion and we would like to Personally Welcome you to join our webpage and share with us your ideas, read our discussions.

Our Free Self Instructional Program

  Let me explain what we are doing.   We are a Self Instructional Program and that means that we are completely relying on you, as a person of action, to come onto our site when we have a new Seminar, or Course. We ask you contribute to our discussions and participate in our reading and answering our questions. You do not have to do it when we are online, you can do it in the comfort of your home and at your convenience. We ask you to read the First Belief before the First Session, the Second Belief before the Second Session, etc.We will then discuss the questions we present. We welcome anyone to participate, and welcome comments. The questions for now are the posts in the grey after the Session. Answering them the day of the Session will be in the Comments for now. We have a live Chat room above the picture of Dena Jensen, it says, "Our Chat Room". When Dena or Larry are online we can chat with you, or you can chat with others that are discussing the same thing. Thanks for stopping by and please join our discussions, we love to hear from you!  

SEVEN BELIEFS FOR SELF- GROWTH AND BECOMING A BETTER PERSON                                      

•  Seek, Welcome, and Accept  Change    
•  I Am  More Than Brain  and Body   
•  I Am  Not Determined By My Past 
•  I Can Directly Know What Is True and Good    
•  Development Flows From How I Live With Others   
•  I Am Personally Responsible For Being Lovable, Worthwhile, Happy, and Belonging   
• Always Choose, “What Is The Good Thing To Do"

Further Understanding Our Free Instructional Program

Now that we have presented to you our Seven Beliefs in Personal Development and Change, we have been collectively discussing about different ways to keep our readers engaged in our blogs.
  We feel the foundation for our Self Instructional Program is not only to help others but, we can provide a safe, healthy discussion that will give you the tools to create the changes in your life to being a better father, mother, sister, brother or whatever "better" you want to be.
  We hope that you will interact with the topics so that others can learn from you.
 In the meantime, I would like to say that we now will be posting something to discuss every Sunday and Wednesday. In the meantime, we ask you to come online and read our discussions. Give us your input and thoughts and tell us how change has come about in your life. What are your thoughts on our Beliefs? Transparent discussions are welcome.
Thank you in advance for keeping this webpage going!