Choosing to Be Happy

A post By Dena Jensen


When I was a teenager, well, maybe younger, maybe 12, I would get irritable easy. I think it was a normal girl thing that girls go through around 12 years old. 
 I would get irritated about something and say, "That is not fair!" my dad, within hearing, would respond with, "If life were Fair, I'd be King." 
This was often, especially, If I were busy working away in the garden while my siblings were in my opinion, not doing anything productive, same response would come from my dad. 
  Another famous saying my dad would say to me, Happy People are Happier. 
From my life experiences,  I have had many, I learned something universal. 
 We can choose to be happy. 
There are many things that we can count on in this life. Our Human Experience in this life is hard sometimes. Many of us face trials and hardships, and honestly, there is a lot of suffering in this life. 
 I have somewhat a story of two sisters. 
These two sisters, one is older and one younger, had a really sad life. 
 Their mother, who married a kind and handsome man, left the family, (the father, these two sisters) and with out a word, the two little girls were so little they to this day have no memory of their mother holding them. 
 The father married a woman who, in my opinion was very cruel, very unkind and the two little girls were raised in an environment of sadness, and a lot of heartbreak. 
  One of the sisters ran away from home at a younger age, and ended up trying to make her own way in life, with her amazing gift as a dress maker. 
The other sister, the older one, left home at the legal age, kept in contact with her siblings of whom she loved dearly, and also tried to make her way in life. 
The older sister had a hard adult life, as did the younger sister. 
 But, something amazing and incredible about the older sister that I found and intend to write about, was how happy the older sister was and, now, to this day, is. 
  The older sister through all the hardships and heartache and sadness, was able and is still able to find love, maybe not through parents, but in other ways. She would call  it her Religion she was able to find what Christians might say, "God's Tender Mercies". 
  This older sister never hurt anyone, never used drugs, never drank alcohol, never did anything dishonest or that would take away her honor.  But, rather, rose above her trials, provided a safe and loving home to her children and her husband, and even made her life meaningful, happy and found joy in her life without the normal loving relationship that parents should provide.  
  Have you ever heard of someone saying that something happened that was so frustrating, so irritating, yet they just "could not find anything else to do but laugh"? 


   It has been told, at least so I have heard many times over that happier people live longer, are more healthy and have less  health aliments. 
Please note that there are some of the happiest people I know also have cancer. This also does not mean to say that in life we will never avoid being sad, or having hard times ahead of us. 
  I think that we can chose to be happy as we can chose many other things. We can chose to love, chose to be kind, chose to act , and we chose to react. 
 Choosing to be happy will help us over come many obstacles that life brings us. I find it interesting that when you look at other peoples lives and how they are living, if you see that they are truly happy, and good to others and kind, they have a better quality of life. 
   I have seen many very poor people be happy. I have thought about when I was little and we lived in Mexico. I recall that the people at evening would gather together and play guitars and sing, and dance in the neighborhoods. They were happy, and I remember that. I as a child, did not notice money or how big homes were, but I do remember the people in Mexico, in my neighborhood were happy. In Spanish, they call it "Simpatico". I think that being Simpatico was not just... Being happy, (which simpatico means friendly or happy), but I think it is a state of being, BEING happy, BEING friendly. 

 When we choose to be happy, we are giving a gift to others around us, but we are also giving ourselves a greater gift, the gift of being able to enjoy our experience being good people. 
 This also can turn into other things, becoming a great person, through happiness. 
 Happiness can give us strength when we are going through a hard time, because our minds can give us the power to endure through times that would otherwise be unbearable. 
Happiness can also help us forgive others and steer us from moments of anger and bitterness and replace our hearts with peace and joy. 
  Some of our readers may not believe in God, and that is OK. 
 But, happiness can help us connect with a higher being than ourselves, which in return helps us get through hardships and trials. 


There is a miracle in being able to chose to be happy, because the miracle comes from our choice as people to give of others, create a better environment for our family, bring joy and peace to those that would other wise not have it, and honestly, you will find those feelings of happiness that you find are contagious. 


Here are some ways in finding Happiness

• Start writing in a journal 
• Smile at a Stranger, once a day
• Sit at a park for 15 minutes and watch others, try to find one thing that made you smile a the park, and write it down in your journal
• In your Journal, write at least three happy memories you have in your life
• When you think of those happy memories, think of the one person responsible for those memories (family member, teacher, neighbor)
• Think of one person who is good and try to emulate that persons life, by creating your own way to making others happy
• When you buy something, always smile at the cashier and say Thank you to  that person. 
•  Try praying, and instead of asking for something, Pray to Thank the Higher Power you are praying to
• Try making a child smile
• Be kind 
• Write everything you do that makes you happy in your journal. Write your experiences that you have done in the list above in your journal
• Expect yourself to change in being happy, and if you find that there is nothing in your life that gives you meaning, or makes you happy, try something different or new that is productive and good, to find the true meaning of happiness. 
• Attend Mass on Christmas Eve, if a Church is near you.
• Visit someone who is lonely, ill, or does not get visitors
• Listen to Happy Music, watch something funny, or read the comics in the News Paper
• Meditate
• Choose to Be Happy

This is your challenge, to find happiness. 
I would hope that some of you would write in the comment what makes you truly happy. 


Season's Greetings to everyone this Christmas!

Who Should Change To Fix Your Marriage?

Even the best marriages have problems. Even the best marriage partners are not perfect. And at one time or another all of us want to improve our marriages.  Many things may need fixing; money management, faithfulness, affection, communication, loyalty, division of labor, cleanliness, religion, values, childrearing, and many more. Most often one partner unconsciously concludes that the other needs to somehow be fixed. In distress they naturally hope  something can be done to change the other person. Put in simplistic terms, they want to fix their partner.

But, fixing the partner is not the solution for many reasons. First, it is not likely to work. Usually it has been tried many times before and the partner is still the same. When relationships are in trouble or when there is conflict it is hard to force or even to kindly persuade another to change. People typically dig in their heels when they feel pushed to change.

Then even if enough pressure is exerted to produce changes in your partner there is no guarantee that the changes will stay when the pressure is removed. And who wants to live in a relationship where you have to constantly exert pressure on your partner.

The greatest problem with changing your partner is that your well being and happiness then becomes dependent on your partner changing or not changing. You lose your control as you wait for someone else to change. Again, you become  controlled by whether they change or not.

I found this Article. Please read :)

Dear Friends, I found this article on a friends wall on Facebook and I wanted to share it with you on this webpage. I feel it is directly related to the topics we discuss in our Seven Beliefs To Change. Tell me what you think? Do you have Regrets? Do you have things you would like to change before you leave this life? Do you want to leave a legacy? How do you want to be remembered when you pass on?  Feel Free to comment! 

Top Five Regrets of The Dying

December 1, 2011 By T Kelly 60 Comments

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.  
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. 
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. 
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
 http://www.activistpost.com/2011/11/top-5-regrets-of-dying.html