Your Conscience Is More Than Social Learning

Throughout the centuries, references have been made to a conscience. Sometimes it has been called a moral sensitivity, an inner knowledge. or a voice that idnetifies right and wrong, the good and bad. In the twentith century, it has been associated with religion, however, even secular humanists refer to a conscience; as do political and social theorists. It seems to be accepted distnct and universal attribute. Perhaps one of hte most intersting explanations of conscience or something like conscience, has been made by social biologists. In the writings of E.O. Wilson, the evolutionary biologist, there is an excellent account of how moral sensitivity or altruism has a genetic basis and improves reproductive fitness. 
 In most cases, the explanations such as those given by the social biologists ans some philosophers refer to something innate and inherited. Conscience is seen as part of the basic makeup of humans. 

It was long into the marriage when John discovered that the disputes about right and wrong were misguided activities. When he and Joan decided to change the goal to being good rahter than being right, the disputes seemed to evaporate. The advantage in an argument about right or wrong goes to the person who has hte best debating skills and is the most aggressive in the argument and that was not John. 

   Now, after John and his wife stopped approaching their disagreements by trying to determine who was right and instead asked each other, "What is the right thing to do?" things changed dramatically. When searching for what was good, John found he was not at a disadvantage. There was no advantage to the best debater, because they appealed to their conscience rather than intellect. Of course, they did not always get the same answer when they listened to their conscience. It was, however, easier to let go of their own position and consider the answer the other found when searching for what was good. This is hard to do when searching for what is right. Thus, if you believe you have a conscience you might as well use it and if you use your conscience you will come to realize how fast many personal disagreements will melt before your eyes when searching foro what it the good thing to do."

For most social psychologists, conscience refers to learning social norms. But, if you define conscience as simply the learning of social morals and taboos, you probably would have naswered this question in the negative because you can dispense with the belief in a conscience and simply explain it as the aquistition of cultural teachings about right and wrong. In philisophical discussions of ethics, something similar to an innate capacity to recognize and know about good and bad, right and wrong is frequently proposed. 
 So, now you see that it is also important that you come to some conclusion about whether you believe you have a conscience. If you do, then your conscience will become extremely important for becoming the best marriage partner.     

Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide

 An appeal to conscience is found in all cultures in all times.

An artist can draw a picture of the conscinece sitting on a woman's shoulder, and whispering in her ear. This is a humorous visulization, but, let us hope that it doesn't trivialize this important resource for aquiring truth and knowledge. Maybe we should worry about the impact of the following conversation:

The postmodernist skeptic: So, you claim to be my conscience. Actuyally, you are nothing more than just an emotional reaction mixed with teh things taught while growing up: nothing more. 

The conscience: Sorry, but let me help you understand that in all these conversations we are having, you are not just talking to yourself. 

The postmodernist: Okay, so you exsist, but why do some people have you and some people don't? 

The conscience: I'm there for all. I am with people, however, there is no snse in sticking around if a person won't listen to me. I even leave when a person listens, but consistently choooses to act contrary to what I tell them. Yes, I can see why you would falsely conclude that some poeple don't have a conscience. 

The postmodernist: How convenient for you. You disappear when things don't go your way. 

The conscience: You don't understand my motives. I want to be with each and every person. My motivation is to stay and not leave. I'm always available, but each person can choose to tune me out. Furthermore, once a person freely chooses to act contrary to what I say, they do not want me to be with them. 

The postmodernist: Interesting; just what I thought. Freedom is more powerful than conscience. 

Conscience: Yes, but freedom needs conscience more than conscince needs freedom. 

At a later point in time, we will discuss about living free and truthful. You may be surprised to learn that living according to your conscience is the only way to truly live free. But, before discussing in more depth it is well known that people through all times and in all place report that they are able to be informed by their conscience.  People who recieve this type of guidance most often place it above all other forms knowledge. Some are so trusting and so dedicated to this knowledge, coming from their conscience, that they will forfiet their life rather than violate their conscience. It is rooted in the deepest feelings as well as intellect. 

  As mentioned, the problem with this kind of knowledge is that it does not give the same answers to all people. Everyone seems to have their own conscience and sometimes listening to one's conscience may cause  Person A to flee and Person B to fight.  Is there a way to reconcile these opposite responses both based on the conscience? 
 If you are to trust your own conscience it would be well to understand these contradicitons between what conscience tells different people. Can this problem be resolved? 

A most straightforward answer is that what is absolutely right for Person A might be absolutely wrong for Person B, based on the differences in the persons, the time, and the circumstances. This is due to context and is not to be confused with relativism. This does not mean that there is no absolute truth and that all is relative to each person's conscience. It means that each person recieves an assurity that they are acting according tot heir conscience, even though the answer may not be the same as that recieved by someone else. This, indeed, is a complex question. But, to live free you must come to terms with your own conscience, and decide to trust your conscience. Put conscience in the very center of your relationship, your family, especially your marriage, but before doing this, more needs to be said about following your conscince. 
 We will discuss this in next weeks' post.           

  

You Are A Happening

This post was written by Professor Jensen and Dena Jensen. 

The belief that body, spirit and mind are separate entities working in unison has some very practical applications for marriage, please take the following example in consideration:  
A young mother, let's call her Kendra, has a wonderful spirit when it comes to loving, helping, and brightening lives of everyone she touches. However, she can't find enough time to get a good night's sleep, or take time to eat. She is constantly going. Yes, everything is working around her. Her mind is fine, her spirit and her body are fine. But, we have to ask ourselves, "Will this last?" No, this can not last. She needs to take better care of herself. While the body, mind and spirit work together as a unit, they each needs its distinct and precise care, but different from each other. It is easier to see the effects of the poorly maintained, care and fueling on the body, but spirit mind need equal attention. 

  In these modern times, we can pretty much agree that the body and mind are connected. Same is true for those who believe that the body and spirit are inseparable. Combined in one unit, we might refer to the body and spirit as the soul. However, those two combined people believe they are unitary, coordinate, or inseparable beings there is no denying that we have separate words for them and they are distinct and separate enmeshed in a whole person. 

 One way to answer this mind, body, and spirit question is to say that a person is not an object, but a happening. This concept is not a new one. This notion is borrowed from the existential philosopher Martin Heidigger (1889-1976). His idea of the unified person never being a static object, but rather a being that is continually changing and unfolding. Many people who have adapted this idea have added that a person can not separate environment and not from others with whom the person is interacting. This is especially applicable to marriage. Constant change and progression will always be a part of understanding anyone you come into, and this helps you with understanding you.
In understanding the body is continually changing, we will see that the spirit and mind change as well. We can call this unified being as a person or even a happening. Adding to this we can say that each marriage and even a larger spectrum, a family, is even more of a happening. 
This important message is you are more than just a body. When you think of your marriage, or your family or your relationships with others as more than just static placement, your relationships with others will result in a richer and more complete way of living.  

The Body, Mind and Spirit

This blog is written by Professor Larry Jensen and Dena Jensen

The old time philosophical and recent  psychological belief that within everyone there dwells an innate intelligence that we are more than just existing, or that we are "more" than just the body we have. 

This intelligence is the belief that we have a spirit or we have a self. Typically this spirit is thought to exist in a timeless way. 

   We talked about this in our Self Help Discussions. Our Belief Two is "I Am More Than Brain And Body". 

If you would like to read this discussion, click here

When you believe that you are more than just brain and body and that you have a spirit, you can see that those you come into contact with, also has a spirit. If you believe that your spirit and others spirits have enduring qualities, then everything you know about yourself and your spouse and those around you are in fact different and and you in fact are different. Everything that you love about yourself and those that you love, then, also are different. 

 When we believe that we have spirits and we are all different and our existence is more than just the body and brain we have, then we can conclude that we had this spirit before our bodies and we will continue to have our spirits. If we conclude this belief then the logical and central core of our existence is our spirits. 

Do you think that knowing this, and in logic terms, giving more value to those around you and especially your spouse, that this is a key element in understanding who you are and who your spouse is? If you are not married, those who you love and those you want to spend your life with. 

  When you want to spend time trying to understand the one you are married to and those you love, this belief is very valuable. 

 Here is an example: 

The old woman was skipping and almost dancing as she flittered around the large hall. The program was over and the cleanup had begun. Her eyes beamed as she moved among those clearing tables and visiting. She held my attention as I thought her childish actions were unbecoming of a person her age. "Who does she think she is?" "She should act her age."

Then suddenly, everything changed. The grandmother transformed into a little girl. I saw her in her youth. I saw within the old body a young vibrant spirit. My criticisms melted. I felt so good watching her enjoy life. I felt she was so lucky to still have a young and joyful spirit. I felt I was fortunate to be able to, at that moment, see more that meets the eye. 

When seeing the old woman as more than just a worn body, for a slight moment her spirit was seen. 

In any relationship with anyone, if we see people who this student saw this old woman, we will be practicing the key to a good relationship. This will further our relationship with becoming a better marriage partner. 

 First and foremost, we all were and will be spirits. 

 This is not mentioned in Marriage and Family textbooks.  However, in these books there is a one hundred percent agreement that each person has a body of material that can, by physicists be reduced and/ or identified into smaller matter and smaller units. Not everyone will agree as to what the units are. However, all will agree that people are reducible to some kind of matter and energy. The next one hundred agreement is we all have our own unique mind. The popular belief is that the brain is the mind. 

So then we are left with a third element to this deep philosophical point of "What Are We?" 

All of the religions we have in this vast earth, namely Christians, Judaism, Islam, along with many countable other religions believe that the spirit is part of the person or the person is part of the spirit. Non-religious scholars and philosophers often refer to man's spirit. Usually, spirits are to exist before, during and after ones life. This belief is found in nearly all religious writings. Nowhere is it stated more directly than in Job 32:8.."But there is a spirit in man; and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding"...

Being a better person, a better marriage partner and a better "You",on practicing this belief can help you in understanding those around you and in your interactions with people day to day.

Spiritual and Physical Health

A post by Dena Jensen

I have been taught all my life that using licit drugs was wrong, try to heal your body as natural as possible, drink water, herbal teas, live a healthy life, eat healthy, and live your life the best way you can. I was taught that smoking was bad, that caffeine was not to be consumed, and I was taught that my physical health was connected to our spiritual health.

 I have at a very young age, had to "listen to my health" because I have one kidney. I was in a car accident and to make a long story short, my left kidney was removed as a result.
I have had to learn through Doctors and reading a lot about the functions of kidneys, how to be as healthy as possible so that I can have a long healthy life with my one kidney.
 
  The world today is full of bad news, lots of bad things on the Television, and we have access to the internet making all kinds of media, some good but mostly bad, at our finger tips.
There is an advantage to the internet, and having all this knowledge we have, but with knowledge comes responsibility, at least, that is my opinion.
  When we do not feel well, we can simply go to web-md and look up our symptoms and there you have with in 5 minutes a list of three or four things that might be the problem. They will tell you of course, go to the Doctor and he or she will tell you with tests, what you might have, and you will be able to chose the next path to take with what you and your physician decides. I love web md. I love reading about the brain, the nervous system. I like to put in different symptoms just to read what it will say.
 We in this new age we are embarking, have the world at our finger tips and yet, I have found not a lot of people talk about our Spiritual Health. That one is more abstract, in my opinion. If something is broken, don't we just fix it?
  When I think of this planet and how many people are on it, I feel so small, but yet, I feel in my corner of the world I can make a difference. This was the whole reason I became involved with this project with my dad a few months ago. While things have taken off slowly,  I have seen that there are many people from all over the world read this webpage. They are searching for something in their life that is either missing or they are looking for something that can help them. Sometimes Mentally or Emotionally and sometimes Spiritually.
Our bodies need exercise and clean air, sleep and healthy food just like our physical bodies. When we do something to our physical body it effects our spiritual body and sometimes forever. I call this effect a foot print. I think of it as a blue permanent foot print.
  The blue foot print can be good or bad, depending on what you do. either way, it is there. This is where we need to care for ourselves in a way that we would care for a child, and protect our spiritual health the way we would protect our Temples.
  Please consider this for a minute. Consider your body, physical and spiritual, as a Mosque, a Temple, a Synagogue, or Mansion. Would you defile that Mansion? Would you take unclean things into your Palace? Would you keep the walls of your Temple clean and washed, polished for others to gaze with admiration?
 I was raised that my body is a Temple and that I would not seek to destroy something that God created.
 We would not want to destroy other peoples Mansions or Palaces either. We nurture and care for those we love around us, and care for our own Temples also.

Now that it is Spring time, I thought I would say, I think it is a good time to reflect on what I have said. Clean your "Temples", rid yourself spiritually and physically of things that will hurt your health, hurt your body or defile your Temples. It is a good time to do some "Spring Cleaning" clean your homes, your closets and reflect on your Spiritual and Physical Health.
This is a good time for some Personal Development in the Emotional and Spiritual way, wouldn't you agree?

Healthy Happy Living to you all. (And Happy Spring Cleaning!) Please, feel free to comment or ask questions! We (my dad and I) are always here to answer them!

IS YOUR CONSCIENCE TRUSTWORTHY?

It is well known that people through all times and places report that they are able to be informed by their conscience. People who receive this type of guidance most often place it above all other forms of knowledge. Some are so trusting and so dedicated to this knowledge that they will forfeit their life rather than to violate their conscience. It is rooted in the deepest of feelings as well as intellect.
A problem with this kind of knowledge is that it does not give the same answers to all people. Listening to one’s conscience may cause person A to flee and person B to fight. Is there a way to reconcile these opposite responses both based on conscience? If you are to trust your own conscience it would be well to understand these contradictions between what conscience tells different people. Can this problem be resolved?
A most straightforward answer is that what is absolutely right for person A may be absolutely wrong for person B based on differences in the persons, the time, and the circumstances. This is due to context and is not to be confused with relativism. This does not mean that there is no absolute truth and that all is relative to each person’s conscience.  It means that each person receives assurance that they are acting according to their conscience even though the answer may not be the same as that received by someone else. This indeed is a complex question. But to live free and gain true self-understanding you cannot ignore  your  conscience.

DO YOU REALLY HAVE A CONSCIENCE?

Throughout the centuries scholars have talked about conscience. Sometimes it has been called moral sensitivity, an inner knowledge, or a voice that identifies right and wrong, good and bad. In the twentieth century, it has been associated with religion, but even secular humanists refer to conscience; as do political and social theorists. It seems to be an accepted distinct and universal attribute. For social psychologists, conscience refers to the natural almost inescapable learning of social norms   In philosophical discussions of ethics an innate capacity to recognize and  directly  know  good and bad, right and wrong is frequently proposed.
In the writings of E.O. Wilson, the famous contemporary evolutionary biologist, there is an excellent account of how moral sensitivity or altruism has a genetic basis. Conscience is thus a part of our biological makeup.  So now you see that it is also important that you come to some conclusion about whether you believe you have a conscience. If you do, then you can use your conscience to better understand yourself and others. With use it will become extremely important. Furthermore, you will want to be a person of conscience.

JUST WHAT IS A PERSON?

Today, almost everyone agrees that the body and mind are connected to create a person. Those who believe in religion usually also add that a person  has a spirit. Combined they are commonly referred to as the soul. Mind, body, and spirit are believed to be unitary, coordinate, or inseparable but there is no denying that we have separate words for them and they are distinct parts of a whole person.
One creative way to answer this mind, body, and spirit question is to say that a person is a not an object but a happening. This is not my original idea but a notion borrowed from the existential philosopher, Martin Heidegger (1889-1976). He proposed that the unified person is never a static object but something that is continually unfolding and changing. Usually, those who take this position add that the person cannot be separated from the environment and certainly not from others with whom the person is interacting. With this notion change and progression will always be part of understanding a person.

ARE YOU FREE ?

 A law-abiding physician was arrested and sent to a Concentration Camp. There he suffered tragic losses and received inhumane treatment for years. He did survive and wrote a bestselling book explaining how he was able to be free even in a totally controlled environment. He came to believe that we can  always  be free. His book is called, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” His name is Victor Frankl (1905). While all his basic rights and freedom were taken away, they could not take away his right to choose what kind of person he choose to be. Thus he remained free and this is precisely the point; you are a free agent.  
  You are free to choose how you act towards others, how you treat others, how you love your family. 
You are also free to choose how you think, and then act upon those positive thoughts. 
You may not be able to direct and change many things but you can choose how you will be and respond. For those that believe a person consists of a body, mind, and also spirit, the question of agentic freedom is clear. You can choose to be free. 
 Furthermore if the spirit is the enduring component rather than the body then should not freedom questions focus on the spirit? If so, does the body and mind influence the spirit?  It is equally important to ask, “Does the spirit influence the body and the mind?”  Correct answers to these questions tell us we  can  choose to be what we  want to be.

BELIEF TWO: I AM MORE THAN BRAIN AND BODY

We first learned that change is always taking place. So it is now natural to ask, just what is the most important thing to change for personal growth? Examples were given about how the body and brain changes or transforms every minute. But there is more to you than that. There is a more important part of you to consider now. 

If you are like most people you likely believe you have within you a spirit or soul. Is this that part of you that is aware of what you are doing right now? Is your spirit or soul the most important part of you or is it even the real you? Is it your essence that will last forever? Along with the body and the brain does it make decisions, choose, and direct your actions?

Of course, we know the body determines a lot of our actions as seen in the case of habitual reactions and addictions. The brain acquires logic and socialization norms to make choices. But most believe there is more to us than brain and body. We are aware of what we are thinking and doing. Ask yourself what or who is being aware of your thoughts right now?  Is it your spirit or soul?

So when it comes to self-change or growth  focus on this inner self, spirit, or soul. It is the part that is indestructible and will last forever.  It is the most fundamental and core part of us that ultimately chooses and directs what we do and become.

Thus when it comes to self- change this is where the focus should be. It is often noted that the most true and genuine change comes when there is a change of heart. We say a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. This expression reflects the belief that changing a person’s mind or forcing actions with bribes or threats result in only superficial transient change. Genuine change must touch the heart and soul.

Thus this second lessons hopes to help you know where to change to become a better person. Scholars, philosophers, and especially existentialists have for centuries recognized this feature of man. The human spirit with freedom to choose is the precious characteristic of humankind. The human spirit to be, and to choose is the most noted cherished, indestructible and precious part in being human. So this is where our self-change focus should start.   

SELF- INSIGHT QUESTIONS   FOR PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS

BELIEF   TWO

1.     Do I sometimes feel I have a spirit or soul in addition to a body and brain?



If answering yes to the previous question then to what extent do I feel this spirit/soul directs and guides my thoughts and actions?


3.    Are there things in my life that diminish or reduce the role of my spirit/ soul in directing and influencing by thoughts and actions?



4.    How does my spirit or soul change or grow in importance during my life?




5.    How does believing I have a spirit influence daily feelings of freedom?




6.    What can I do to harmonize or help my body, brain, and spirit to work together?




7. What is the single most important belief I am taking away from this lesson?